This is my personal journal for your perusal. I hope the honesty brings some sort of humorous relief, reflection and some insight into the life of a 28 year old single woman.
I’ve been single for close to two years now. Single but not short of mingling. It was October 2016 when I agreed to a date with a man I met on Tinder. His name is Kay. Kay and I met at a Turkish restaurant. I love Turkish food, the meat and the fresh ingredients. So I was truly amped for this date.
Kay was good looking, smart and educated. He had this foreign accent that reawakened my dreams of living abroad. So yes, I liked him immediately and I knew not much would me back from going home with him.
I’d like to think I’m a pragmatist, I see things for what they are. He asked me to come over to his place for tea and I accepted. Experience has taught me that this means one thing only – Sex.
I want to outline this – Women go out to find sex too. I am one of those women. I am neither proud nor ashamed of this. I am a sexual being. A very single sexual being. I seek out what I can’t have.
Having said that, the sex came first then the talk. There’s a saying – “Test drive first”, this may be very crass, but I am certain I am not the only one using this approach.
I figured I could cut out the admin work of ‘finding someone’ each time I wanted to have sex. I let him know what I have on my mind, that I’d like regular sex without the relationship. His response? “So I don’t have to text you to check up on you?”, I loved it. I replied by saying; no you don’t, just text me when we arranging a “date”.
Being happily single means I can still have regular sex. I still want to be single, just with Kay in the picture. Being single has brought a few things to my attention. I enjoy my solitude, I want week days and weekends alone, in my own company. I am lazy to shave, it’s hard work always being smooth. I need to become confident in the choices and decisions I make. I want to go on holidays, by myself.
It’s been 4 and a half months now. Kay is still good looking, smart and educated, but he is also reserved, loves sweet treats, enjoys serving the community, he occasionally laughs at my jokes and he listens to Bob Marley songs with me.
I see Kay a few times a month, we have good conversations and he asks me about my week. We have good sex and occasionally he makes me really happy by giving me more than one round. I’ll admit, I like Kay. I like him enough to respond when he texts me. I like him enough to enjoy his choice of movies, but not enough to sleep over, or text him on a random day asking how his day is going, or have a fight with him about ‘us’.
Four and a half months later, I still only want sex from Kay, with the conversations and the sweet treats in between.