If like me, you are completely bach-shit crazy, Season 1 of the much anticipated South African Bachelorette, would have left you underwhelmed to say the least.
Qiniso van Damme, our very first South African bachelorette, had us fall in love with her in season 2 of The Bachelor. After Marc Buckner decided to not give her a rose, the 27 year old Cape Town beauty, picked up her broken heart, and in true Qiniso fashion ramped up the search for love.
We waited with bated breath for Season 1 to start. And sad to say, I’m still holding my breath.
The men are truly average, in all spheres. To be honest #SONA2021 was probably more exciting. The catch of the day was definitely the host, Jason Greer.
Let’s meet the men who made an impression on the red carpet – and it’s not necessarily a good one:
Bradley – 29 from Jhb
The man arrived dressed in a jacket that could confuse him with a Maitre D or a cinema usher. He proceeded to ask Qiniso to drop a beat. That was the highlight of this meet and greet. Later he pours her a glass of red and seems to have impressed. Is Q looking for someone that can wait on her hand and foot?
The Vibe rating – 6/10
Dylan – 29 from CPT
The digital nomad/spandex onesie wearing gentleman, arrived on a bicycle. Dressed fairly well until the white socks with black pants caught our eye. He brought with him extreme quirkiness and a mix-tape (probably the first Q has ever received it is 2021 after all). Is Q into cosmic weirdness?
The Vibe rating – 6.5/10
Justin – 26 from Jhb
The man has it all he says. He is an athlete, and starts fast and finishes strong. He has hidden talents from handing over a painting to reciting a poem, we had an extra helping of cheese spread here. There is NOTHING wrong with his self-confidence, which leads us to wondering, ‘Dude, if you are such a prize, why are you still single?’
The Vibe rating 5/10
Vuyani – 28 from Jhb
The man is buff! There are abs there for days, and out of all of them, the most captivating and charismatic. He also pulled at Q’s heart strings, snapping a polaroid on the red carpet and later a selfie, which he kept the picture. At least we know Q will always have a buff bod and a photographer on call.
The Vibe rating 8/10
Ruan aka Jon Snow – 26 from Bloemfontein living in PTA
He arrived with a fur coat and a soft toy. He really does resemble Game of Throne’s, Jon Snow, but thats where the similarities stop. Unfortunately the Bloemfontein native has an extremely thick Afrikaans accent, leaving you with that David Beckham feel. You know the please don’t speak you are ruining it for me vibe. He also hinted at a possible fist fight erupting in the quest for Q’s heart.
The Vibe rating 6/10
Aviwe – 25 from Jhb
After 5 hi’s to announce himself, he proceeded to ask Q to kick at goal in heels. A true gentleman would’ve let her score, not stopped it. Has that placed a stop on his quest for a fiance?
The Vibe rating 6/10
Marc – 41 from Jhb
He is a life coach and arrived with a bunch of carrots. Looking at the selection of men, said vegetable may just come in handy to help keep Q’s eyesight in tach. But on a serious note. Marc this is not Kideo, and well Q is not Mr Chinwag.
The Vibe rating 4/10
Peter – 27 from Jhb
The man arrived dressed in a jacket resembling a hotel foyer. Putting bad dress sense aside, he has been crushing on Q since 5th grade. Yip, you read it, he was in primary school with her. Does this give him a head start or will he leave broken-hearted yet again?
The Vibe rating 6/10
Ten – 36 from Dbn
How did Ten get onto the Bachelorette? Because Seven Eight Nine hahahah. Thank you, thank you, I’m just bringing the cheese. What can we say about Ten? The man has better hair than all of us. He looks like someone who belongs in a. Pantene ad. He also reminds us of the yoga instructor on Couples Retreat. From face value he is very spiritual and exudes a little Eat-Pray-Love vibe. Does Q want a man with better hair who is more in touch with his feelings than her? Time will tell.
The Vibe rating 6.5/10
Franco – 26 from Jhb
He is short. His lack in height got me so mesmerised that I didn’t take in anything more about him.
The Vibe rating 6/10
Keelan – 26 from CPT
He has survived a broken back and turned too Yoga to recover. Quite the outdoor enthusiast and pretty impressive at the yogi poses for a guy. From his. instagram he has a strong love for the banana hammock.
Will Q want to get into the downward dog with him?
The Vibe rating – 5.5/10
Lunga – 30 from Iduytwa in the Eastern Cape
He arrived dressed in full traditional wear, addressing Q in Xhosa. Initially we were like mmm, that was until he told her to keep quiet and let him speak. Bad move buddy, and Q was not impressed – her words he spoke at me not with me.
Thinking you got the first impression rose definitely places you on the delusional side of life.
The Vibe rating – 4/10
Kganya – 23 from Jhb
He is here to make friends for life. And from the Sherlock Holmes/Librarian look he sported on the red carpet, Q may just become his bookclub buddy.
The Vibe rating – 6/10
Henk (Swazi) – 28 from Piet Retief
Nicknamed Swazi due to his ties to Swaziland, this red head rates himself a prince Harry look-alike. Q did seem quite taken with his Swazi background, saying he’s brought a piece of home to me. Will Q want some ginger to spice up her journey? We’ll have to wait and see.
The Vibe rating – 7.5/10
Kyran – 32 from CPT
I had to dig deep to remember who he is. He did arrive with a plant – copying Q’s move on the Bachelor. Originality is lacking, but he seems a bachie fan like us.
The Vibe rating – 5/10
Who will walk away with the lovely Qiniso? Or will she still be searching for love after this journey?
We are giving the production the benefit of the doubt and here’s too hoping for more riveting entertainment.
Read more:
